Celebrating Four Seasons Total Landscaping Day with Laura Jane Grace
Laura Jane Grace, the frontman of the punk band Against Me !, has just announced that she will play a solo set at Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia on August 21st.
Admitting that your career is over seems so obviously strange.
But no, I think there is a point. And it’s good.
Whenever someone announces a public appearance at a landscaping company, it usually means incompetence at a level not seen since Abraham Lincoln’s bodyguard to have a drink because the piece got boring.
True story; he wasn’t even fired. And you felt guilty for stealing office supplies!
Grace, also a member of The Devouring Mothers, knows what she’s doing and it’s pretty brilliant. I think this incredible piece of American history is sometimes lost in the blinding ridicule that followed the former president (Trump, not Lincoln … just for clarification, because we always confuse the two, right?).
For example, remember when Donald got those pig farmers drunk and persuaded them to attack Congress? And did they actually do it?
Of course you remember … unless you’re a Republican in Congress. Everyone should remember November 7th, 2020 for the rest of the time. Grace is right. It should be celebrated (maybe even November 7th, but open air concerts in Pennsylvania are likely a bit warmer in August).
What ever; It’s still a celebration of the day that summed up America’s possibilities as we watched conservative enablers of the greatest con man in history make excuses a few doors down from a porn store … when the other was called a national election.
Literally! It was called when they were standing there looking like Forest Gump who woke up to a pissed off Mike Tyson sitting on his chest beating his brain.
The idea of having a concert in the same parking lot is wonderful. Maybe not as punk rock as the Sex Pistols, who rent a boat and sail in front of the British Parliament and play “Anarchy in the UK”. But look … it worked. It caught our attention.
We’ll be classifying the joint on August 21st with @LauraJaneGrace and @badsandwich! pic.twitter.com/VxXnVwcPgP
– Four Seasons Total Landscaping (@ therealfstl1992) July 8, 2021
Maybe I should write my column in an unusual place to get more attention … like in an English class.
Brendan Kelly of the Lawrence Arms will be supporting Laura Jane Grace. And they already sell t-shirts. Which is far more ethical than former presidents asking drunken pig farmers for money to fund lawsuits he’ll never file.
“This will be the first and last time Brendan and I play in front of a landscaping company and we promise it will be better than this MAGA shit show,” Grace said in her press release.
Maybe punk rock turns into pun rock.
But playing in strange places is great for business, as Rage Against the Machine learned in the early hours of the morning when it showed up on Wall Street with Michael Moore and his cameras yelling about evil capitalism.
Johnny Cash was in Folsom Prison and the Cramps was in Napa State Hospital and Korn was playing on a plane. Metallica announced they would play in San Quentin for a year and even allowed some of us commie media drones to leave (signing the release form that said we wouldn’t hold them accountable if we were to being held hostage in a prison riot was a bit strange).
Rock and Roll always has a middle finger ready for someone, which of course is one reason we love them. Especially for those who deserve it. It’s like the founding fathers said: anyone who doesn’t remember the idiocy in a landscaper’s parking lot is doomed to repeat it. Never again.
Follow music critic Tony Hicks below Twitter.com/TonyBaloney1967.